Respect

By: Stephanie Defoyd
July 31st, 2014


Respect is yet another one of the most misused terms and one of the most lacking traits in our society.  Far too many people have the arrogant attitude of, "I won't respect them until they respect me first."  There also seems to be this misconception that respect is allowing oneself to be walked all over by another in order to "keep peace" or to "gain friendship".  Regardless of what some may say this is NOT the definition of respect, and is most certainly not the attitude we should have about respecting others.

To respect someone is to have regard for them, their feelings, and to look out for their well-being.  It is to show someone kindness and humility and value them as an individual because they are created in the very image of God, regardless of whether or not you like or agree with the person's views, practices, etc.  Respect is to be given freely and without constraint.  It's not a "give-take" deal, or a "take-give" arrangement, as some view it.  One should give respect to all and not expect to be respected back.

Respect does not mean allowing someone to use you for their selfish desires just so you can "keep peace" and "gain friendship" with them.  That's called being manipulated, and what you gain isn't true peace or friendship.  It's called allowing yourself to become a slave and in the end, neither you nor the people you're supposedly "respecting" are happy.  Both parties end up miserable, and you're doing the opposite of respecting.  You're showing disrespect to them by not looking out for their well-being, and you're also disrespecting yourself because you're allowing yourself to be used.

When we have the attitude that people should respect us first before we should have to respect them, we fool ourselves.  It is a selfish and arrogant way of thinking.  It says we deserve something that in all reality we don't.  We don't truly "deserve" anything.  The Bible is clear on that.  I am no more worthy of respect or anything else than the thief in prison.  We need to get rid of this entitlement attitude so many of us hold, otherwise who is going to be the first to step up to the plate and give respect?  Matthew 7:12 says, "Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets." We aren't told to wait for others to treat us right before we treat them right.  We are called to treat others the way we would have them treat us, even if they don't treat us the same way.