What Does God Say?: Sexual Morality

For the past few weeks the book we had been going over in Bible study was 'The Discipline of Spiritual Discernment' by Tim Challies.  In one of the final chapters, there was an optional assignment for us to put what we had learned about discernment into practice.  We were to come up with a statement that we've heard people give (such as, "God says not to judge, so don't be judging me," etc.) and find out whether or not it is truth (truth fully backed up by Scripture).  Below is a copy of a friend's submission for the assignment.

Written By: Sarah Iddings - March, 2015


Statement: "It is not morally wrong for me to live with my significant other before marriage."

What is at stake: Sexual morality, obedience to God.

What people say:
You need to live with someone before marriage because...
 
1.) There are all kinds of things you will never learn about a guy until you live with them. And vice versa.
2.) You should want to be with your guy because YOU LOVE HIM, period. Whether you get married or not is secondary.
3.) If you're too set in your ways to live with someone, you're too set in your ways to get married. There are compromises all over the place, even with someone you're really compatible with.
4.) Learning to coexist with someone, especially after you've been single and on your own for a long time, is difficult. Very difficult. Getting engaged also brings with it so many stresses and difficulties, that it seems like the worst possible time to move in together. It's so much better to learn how to coexist first, before you start tackling all of the issues that come with an impending marriage.
 

What the Bible Says:

• Genesis 2:23-25 - "The man said, "This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man." For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife [NOT bf/gf or lover]; and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed."

• 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 - "Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body."

• Hebrews 13:4 - "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous."

• 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5- "For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God"

• 1 Corinthians 7:2 - "But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband."

• Romans 13:14 - “Let us walk honestly, as in the day; not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and wantonness, not in strife and envying. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.”

• Matthew 5:14-16 - “You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it gives light to all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.”

• 1 Corinthians 10:31 says “Whether therefore you eat, or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”

 
What other Christians say:
"'Does the Bible say it is wrong for unmarried, unrelated men and women to live together?' is not the right question. The right question to ask is, 'What is God’s will concerning an adult male and an adult female living together?'
 
According to Genesis 2:24, His revealed will is that only husbands and wives (or family members) should live together.
 
Why does God say this?
 
The answer is because living together is an intimate and bonding experience. Living together in the same home where men and women share the same kitchen, bathroom, etc., where they see each other early in the morning and late at night develops intimacy and bonding.

God allows that kind of intimacy only among family members. Why? Because between members of the opposite sex, it can lead to sexual intimacy.

It is very easy to start out as “just friends,” but when sharing an intimate home relationship week after week, talking and relating, seeing each other first thing in the morning and late at night, there is no barrier to that kind of intimacy leading to sexual intimacy.

God’s normal barrier to controlling sexual intimacy between members of the opposite sex is physical separateness, men and women living apart from each other.

When men and women live together intimacy naturally develops. Men can become sexually attracted to women even if they are “just friends.” They are visually stimulated and can be sexually tempted apart from any kind of relationship they have with a woman. Woman often do not realize this, but it is true. Women can become sexually attracted to men who are around them and listen to them especially when they feel vulnerable.

...

Romans 13:14 says, “Let us walk honestly, as in the day; not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and wantonness, not in strife and envying. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.”

This verse means we are not to “make provision for the flesh,” that is put ourselves into a situation where we know that we will fall into sin. Living together provides a powerful opportunity for sexual lust.

Even though they may innocently say that circumstances are “forcing” them to live together, they will soon be sleeping together in the same bed. Then sex will follow. Men and women cannot live together when they are romantically involved and not eventually succumb to sexual temptation. It is too powerful. Since living together for a couple makes provision for the flesh, it is condemned by God and is sin." - Ron Jones, Titus Institute; http://titusinstitute.com/datingbible/livingtogether.php
 

Summary:
We cannot live with the opposite gender outside of a marriage/family relationship and do it "to the glory of God". He has stated in scripture that His desired will is for a man and woman to marry and then live together. We are to be "lights to the world" and to stand out from others with how we conduct our lives; if we are knowingly placing ourselves in a position that can easily lead to sinful compromise, we are not living in a way that will reflect God to those around us.

 * * * * * * *

This is the book we just completed in Bible study, for anyone who may be interested.

Respect

By: Stephanie Defoyd
July 31st, 2014


Respect is yet another one of the most misused terms and one of the most lacking traits in our society.  Far too many people have the arrogant attitude of, "I won't respect them until they respect me first."  There also seems to be this misconception that respect is allowing oneself to be walked all over by another in order to "keep peace" or to "gain friendship".  Regardless of what some may say this is NOT the definition of respect, and is most certainly not the attitude we should have about respecting others.

To respect someone is to have regard for them, their feelings, and to look out for their well-being.  It is to show someone kindness and humility and value them as an individual because they are created in the very image of God, regardless of whether or not you like or agree with the person's views, practices, etc.  Respect is to be given freely and without constraint.  It's not a "give-take" deal, or a "take-give" arrangement, as some view it.  One should give respect to all and not expect to be respected back.

Respect does not mean allowing someone to use you for their selfish desires just so you can "keep peace" and "gain friendship" with them.  That's called being manipulated, and what you gain isn't true peace or friendship.  It's called allowing yourself to become a slave and in the end, neither you nor the people you're supposedly "respecting" are happy.  Both parties end up miserable, and you're doing the opposite of respecting.  You're showing disrespect to them by not looking out for their well-being, and you're also disrespecting yourself because you're allowing yourself to be used.

When we have the attitude that people should respect us first before we should have to respect them, we fool ourselves.  It is a selfish and arrogant way of thinking.  It says we deserve something that in all reality we don't.  We don't truly "deserve" anything.  The Bible is clear on that.  I am no more worthy of respect or anything else than the thief in prison.  We need to get rid of this entitlement attitude so many of us hold, otherwise who is going to be the first to step up to the plate and give respect?  Matthew 7:12 says, "Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets." We aren't told to wait for others to treat us right before we treat them right.  We are called to treat others the way we would have them treat us, even if they don't treat us the same way.

Child Of The King (1 Peter 3:15) Parts 1 & 2

"But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear." - 1 Peter 3:15

This skit written by Jonathan, Jacob, Alyssa, Trevor, Shannea, Sarah, and myself, with input/help from our moms. We (Jon, Alyssa, Jake, Trevor, Shannea, and I) performed this during our homeschool group's Presentation Night in 2009, and also for the residents at the nursing home the following April. At the time we ranged in age from 9 years old to 18 years old....hard to believe that was 3 years ago.

(NOTE: Bear in mind that this skit was supposed to be only 10 minutes long, so we tried to touch on as much as possible within the time frame given. Also, this skit is broken into two parts, and at the end of each part is a video recording of our first performance for PCHE's Presentation Night at the Lewis-Clark State College Silverthorne Theater).

CHARACTERS/ACTORS-ACTRESSES:

* Jessica: Stephanie
* Josephine: Alyssa
* Earl: Jon
* Phil & Dr. Maxwell: Trevor
* Zeke: Jacob
* Nurse Dorothy: Shannea


- Part I -


(Earl, Phil, Josephine & Zeke come onto stage tossing ball while Jess's reading Bible a ways away. Earl makes bad throw, accidentally hitting Jess. Jess stands as Jo hurries over. Phil or Zeke say something to Earl about his bad throw as they follow slightly behind.)

Josephine: "Sorry about that!"

Jessica: "Hey, that's okay! No problem!"

Josephine: "By the way, I'm Josephine."

Jessica: "Hi, Josephine! I'm Jessica."

Josephine: "Hey! Nice to meet you! Oh, and I want you to meet my friends, Earl, Zeke and Phil."

(Earl, Phil & Zeke all say something here at the same time.)

Jessica: "Hi!"

Josephine: "So, do you live around here? Maybe we could get together sometime."

Jessica: "I live in an apartment near here. It's not big or anything, but, hey, one day I'll be living in a mansion."

Josephine, Earl, Phil & Zeke: "A mansion?!"

Jessica: "Yeah, a mansion."

Earl: "Your family must be pretty rich to afford a mansion."

Jessica: "When God is your Father, who is King of Kings and Lord of Lords, you are rich. He's preparing a mansion for me in heaven where I'll live with Him for eternity."

Zeke: "God is preparing you a mansion in heaven?"

Earl: "How do you figure that?"

Jessica: "He told me so, through His Word, which is the Bible."

Josephine: "Really?"

Phil: "Where does it say that?"

Jessica: "Right here. In the book of John, chapter fourteen, verse two, Jesus says: 'In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.'"

Josephine: "Wow! I wish I could live in a mansion with God forever!"

Jessica: "Well, I have good news for you! You can!"

Josephine: "Are you serious?!"

Earl: "I don't think she is."

Jessica: "Of course I am! All of you can! It's simple: you just have to admit to God that you are a sinner, which everyone is, and that He is totally perfect in every way, unlike us, and turn away from your sins. Next, you need to believe that Jesus is God's Only Son who came to earth to die on a cross for all our sins and accept His forgiveness from sin. And last, but certainly not least, confess your faith in Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord."

Josephine: "That's it?!"

Phil: "No way! Nothing's that easy!"

Jessica: "Oh, but it is! Really, that's all there is to it! And once you have trusted Jesus to be your Savior and Lord, you can be sure that: your sin is forgiven; you are a Christian; you are the child of God, the King of all; God will always be with you, and you will go to heaven when you die. Everyone needs Jesus."

Zeke: "Says who?"

Jessica: "God does in the Bible. In the book of Romans, chapter three, verse twenty-three: 'For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.' That's explaining why we need Christ: because we've all messed up by disobeying God. Then if you flip a few chapters ahead, to chapter six, also verse twenty-three, He tells us what happens if we don't accept Him, and what we have if we do: 'For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.'"

Josephine: "Are you sure that's all you have to do? I mean, it seems almost too good to be true!"

Jessica: "Yeah, I know it does. But honestly, that's all."

Earl: (Mumbled): "Whatever. I mean, how do you know if it's even true? How do you know that will get you to heaven?"

Phil: "Yeah."

Zeke: "How do you know?"

Jessica: "Because God, through the Bible, tells me so and I believe what God says. The reason being, I've seen things that prove both He and His Word are real and true."

Earl: "Have you realized that it's just a book?"

Jessica: "You're right. It is a book...but not just any book. It's God's Word. Yes, it was written by men, but they were inspired by the Holy Spirit. They wrote what God told them to write, not just what they thought sounded good."

Earl: "What's the matter with the world we're in now? Isn't it wonderful enough?"

Jessica: "Well, it's full of greed, hatred, vanity, death, pain, sorrow..." (Voice trails off and Earl starts to speak, but Jessica interrupts.) "Yes, there are some good things in this world too, but can you imagine a place so perfect that there's no such thing as all of what I just mentioned, and then some? Revelation twenty-one four refers to the day when all of those who have trusted Jesus Christ will live with God for eternity in heaven: 'And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.'"

Josephine: "Oh, this is so awesome! I want to accept Jesus Christ as my Savior and Lord!"

Jessica: "Really?! Do you really want to accept Jesus?"

Josephine: "Yes!"

Jessica: "Great! Okay, then pray this prayer in your heart: 'Dear Jesus, I know that I am a sinner and I know that my sin separates me from You. I understand that You came to earth to die for me because of my sins. Please forgive me of my sins and please come into my heart. Amen.'"

Josephine: (Repeats 'Amen,' then says): "Wow!"

Phil: "Hey, can I see your Bible a moment?"

Jessica: (Hands Phil Bible) "Sure."

Phil: "Thanks." (Flips through, glances at a few pages, then flips curiously to place where Bible is marked. Reads aloud): "'For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not His Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through Him might be saved.'"

Jessica: (Nodding) "John three, sixteen and seventeen. That passage describes how God sent His Only Son, Jesus Christ, to earth to be the Perfect Sacrifice for our sins." (Phil gives Jessica questioning look & she continues.) "We are all sinners, or wrong doers, and nothing we do is perfect. God on the other hand, is perfect in every way and is everything that is good and just. Sin is wrong, and the only just punishment for sin is death. But since God loves us so much, He sent His Son to die in our place. Jesus was whipped, beat, mocked, spat upon, humiliated before crowds who yelled for Him to be crucified, made to wear a crown of thorns and carry a cross, to which they later hung Him on to die, by driving nails through His hands and feet. After He had died, they pierced His side with a spear to make sure." (Takes Bible from Phil and flips to certain spot. Reads aloud): "Isaiah fifty-three, five: 'But He was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon Him; and with His stripes we are healed.'"

Phil: (Quiet for a moment, taking it all in.) "Wow! He loves me that much?" (Jessica nods, and Phil stands there quietly for a moment, head bowed. Raising his head, he announces happily): "I've accepted Christ!"

Jessica: "That's wonderful!"

Zeke: (Doubtfully) "He went through all of that?"

Jessica: "Yes. And if you want to see all that He went through, just because He loves us, you can watch 'Passion Of The Christ'. It's a longer movie, but it gives you a visual of what He did for us. As a matter of fact," (glances at watch) "it's going to be playing at the theater in about five minutes. Hey, why don't we all go?"

(All but Earl agree with Jess's idea)

Earl: "A movie? Whatever. Hey, I'll just meet you guys in front of the theater after it's over, okay?"

Jessica: "Okay."

(Everyone leaves stage then return to meet in front of "theater" a few moments later)

Zeke: "Whoa! That was intense!"

Josephine: "You can say that again!"

Zeke: "You weren't kidding when you told me 'For God so loved the world, that He gave His Only Begotten Son'! You know, that really staples my faith right there."

Jessica: "What?"

Zeke: "After seeing that, I've come to a decision..."

Earl: "And you come to it just by seeing a movie? Please!"

Jessica: "But what is the decision?"

Zeke: "I've accepted Christ."


- END OF PART I -

'Child Of The King (1 Peter 3:15) Part 1'

CREDITS:

Video: Dave Johnson

Cast: Jonathan Stormes, Stephanie Defoyd, Alyssa Defoyd,

Jacob Stormes, & Trevor Defoyd

Script: Jonathan Stormes, Stephanie Defoyd, Alyssa Defoyd,

Jacob Stormes, Shannea Defoyd, Sarah Iddings,

Arla Defoyd, & Debbi Stormes

Part II

(Cafe scene)

Jessica: (Mumbles & glances at watch): "Any day now Josephine! It's already 20 after!"

Josephine: (Rushes over to Jessica's table almost out of breath.) "Hey, Jess! Sorry I'm so late."

Jessica: "Hi, Jo!" (Sees worried look on Josephine's face.) "What's wrong?"

Josephine: (Taking a seat.) "Oh, Jess! You won't believe what happened!" (Jess gives Jo questioning look and she cont., worriedly): "On my way to meet you here, I got a call. Earl's in the hospital!"

Jessica: "WHAT?!"

Josephine: "He was in a horrible car accident yesterday morning! The doctors were saying it's a miracle he even lived through it!"

Jessica: (As she starts to stand, says): "I'd like to go over there...what about you?"

Josephine: (Also rising): "I'd really like to," (Glances at watch.) "but I have some things I need to finish up before a certain time. I'll try to meet up with you at the hospital later, okay?"

Jessica: "Okay." (Josephine starts to turn to leave with Jess following slightly behind): "Hey, thanks for letting me know!"

Josephine: (Pauses and turns.) "No problem!"

(Both girls leave stage. Hospital scene.)

Nurse Dorothy: (Walks onto stage with needle. Says cheerfully): "Good afternoon, Earl! How are you doing?"

Earl: (Mumbles): "Been better."

Nurse Dorothy: "Are you ready for your shot?" (Pushes plunger letting drop of water drip out).

Earl: (Hoarsely): "Shot?"

Nurse Dorothy: (As she walks over to Earl, says): "This won't hurt a bit!" (Calmly says '1' &'2'. More emphasis on '3'): "One...Two...THREE!" (Gives shot on 3).

Earl: (Ad lib) (yell of pain and nearly flies out of the hospital bed)

Nurse Dorothy: (Removes needle). "All done! Have a nice day!" (Smiles and starts to walk off stage. Calls to Jess): "You can see the patient now!" (Leaves stage).

Jessica: (Walks on stage to Earl). "Hey!"

Earl: (Relieved): "Hey, Jess! Boy, am I glad to see a familiar face!"

Jessica: "So, how are ya feeling?"

Earl: (Rubs arm & mutters): "Could be worse, I guess."

Jessica: "Josephine told me about what happened. Sounds like God was watching over you."

Earl: "Yeah, yeah. That's what you always say."

Jessica: "Well, maybe I always say that because it's always true. I mean, if God hadn't---"(Interrupted by Dr. Maxwell, who enters stage.)

Dr. Maxwell: (Cheerfully): "Well, I'm glad to see that my patient is doing so well! I'm Doctor Maxwell, by the way." (Turns to Jess.) "And you're---?"

Jessica: "Jessica."

Dr. Maxwell: "Nice to meet you, Jessica!" (Turning back to Earl.) "Well, Earl, you were in pretty bad shape when you arrived yesterday morning. It's a miracle that you're even here with us now." (Shakes head wonderingly.) "God obviously has a plan for you. That's the only explanation for your surviving that crash and doing so well now." (A slight pause, then):"Well, I'd better go. I have a few other patients that I need to check up on. Again, nice to meet you, Jessica. And Earl, I'll see you later." (Turns and leaves stage.)

Earl: (Mutters): "What is it with people? Always 'God' this, 'God' that! I was just lucky!"

Jessica: (Shakes head in disbelief.) "So you just base your life on luck and chance?" (Pulls out Bible & turns to 2 Tim. 2:19.) "If you want something rock-solid to base your life on, it's found in God, and Him alone. The first part of verse nineteen, in Sec. Timothy, chapter two says: 'Nevertheless the foundation of God standeth sure.'"

Earl: "Sure, whatever. How in the world could somebody believe all of that about some invisible dude in the sky? It's like imagining your imaginary friend is going to jump out of nowhere and save your life. It doesn't make any sense to me, Jess."

Jessica: "There are some things about God that aren't meant to make sense to us, Earl. If we, the small, vulnerable human beings that we are, were able to fully understand God, He wouldn't be as powerful as He really is."

Earl: "Yeah...I guess. But if God cares as much as everyone says, why'd He put me in the hospital and cause these ginormous needles to suddenly have an undeniable attraction to my arm???"

Jessica: "Sometimes God allows trials to enter our lives. And look at it this way: you may be in the hospital, but you're not dead."

Earl: (Sighs.) "Good point. How can you possibly keep looking to the bright side in these situations, Jess?! I don't get it." (Laughs a little.) "Or maybe I don't get it because of something in that needle Nurse What's-her-face gave me."

Jessica: "Well, guess what? I didn't always see the good in situations. But then...back a few years ago, when my grandpa was on his death bed, he explained something to me: God cares." (While saying this, opens Bible to passage that's marked.) "He cares for us very much. He showed me a Bible and turned to Romans 8:28." (Reads verse from Bible.) "It says, 'And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose.' I didn't believe it completely at the time...but when I accepted Christ a year later, I began to see things in a new light. Though not everything seems good in our eyes, it all plays out in the end and goes to complete God's perfect will. He has a reason for everything that happens. My grandpa's witnessing to me before he died planted a seed that lead me to Christ later on in life, and I know for a fact that there is a reason for your accident as well."

(Zeke enters stage before any more can be said.)

Zeke: "Yo!"

Jessica: "Hi, Zeke!"

Earl: "'Sup, dude!"

Zeke: "Hey, I just passed Doctor Maxwell on my way here. He's a friend of the family. So he's your doctor, huh?"

Earl: "Yeah, he is."

Jessica: "He was just here a few moments ago telling Earl that God obviously has a plan for him. That's what we've been talking about."

Earl: (Mutters): "I hope it's a plan to get me out of this hospital."

Zeke: (Reaches for Bible Jess has.) "Hey, let me see that a moment." (Jess hands him Bible & he flips to verse.) "Proverbs three, five says: 'Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.'"

Jessica: (Suddenly looking around, as if in search of something.) "Hey, does anyone have a piece of paper?" (Feels pocket, then says): "Ah, never mind! I have one..." (Scribbles something down as guys look on curiously. Hands note to Earl, then steps behind him.)

Earl: (Reads note to self, then asks, confused): "Huh? What's this about?" (Tries to turn slightly to look behind him.) "What are you up to, Jess?"

(Jess doesn't answer.)

Zeke: (Also puzzled.) "What does it say?"

Earl: "'Lean back and lay your head in my hands'?"

Zeke: (Shares a puzzled look with Earl, glances at Jess, then shrugs.) "Uh, I guess just...do it...?"

Earl: (Unsure, then does it.)

Jessica: "Okay you can sit up now." (Moves back to original position.)

Earl: (After sitting up, asks): "What in the world was that for?"

Jessica: (Instead of answering Earl's question, asks one of her own.) "Why did you lay your head in my hands?"

Earl: (Gives Jess an odd look.) "Huh? What do you mean, 'why did you lay your head in my hands'? You told me to, genius!"

Jessica: (Shakes head.) "I never said a word."

Earl: "Okay, you told me through the note you handed me." (Holds up paper.)

Jessica: "Okay. How did you know that my hands would be there?"

(Zeke looks on with understanding, realizing where this is headed.)

Earl: (Answers slowly, somewhat puzzled): "You said that they would be and I trust you...?"

Jessica: "Right. You read my words and trusted that I'd follow through. I am a human and a sinner, just like you. I have faults, I may forget things, I don't always keep the promises I make, I may be weak...yet, you trusted me. God is your Father and Creator. He does not and will not have faults, cannot forget anything, always keeps His promises, and is so much stronger than either you or I. So why not believe what He tells us through the Bible, His Word, and trust that He'll be there with you like He says He will be?"

Zeke: "Life has a lot of ups and downs, but you can trust God to be with you through it all. I've realized since I've become a Christian that that doesn't mean that everything is going to go 'A-Okay' all the time, but you can know that God is always right there with you. You just have to keep looking to Him."

Jessica: "He gives you a peace and comfort that you cannot find anywhere else."

Earl: (A slight pause, then): "Hmmm. I don't know, guys. I really don't know about this whole 'God' thing...but, do you think, when I get out of the hospital, I might be able to catch a ride with you to your church? I mean, it's not like I'm going to be able to drive for quite some time..."

Jessica: "Sure!"

Earl: "Well, thank you, guys. I really appreciate all of this. This means a lot."


- THE END -

'Child Of The King (1 Peter 3:15) Part 2'

CREDITS:

Video: Dave Johnson

Cast: Jonathan Stormes, Stephanie Defoyd, Alyssa Defoyd,

Jacob Stormes, Trevor Defoyd, & Shannea Defoyd

Script: Jonathan Stormes, Stephanie Defoyd, Alyssa Defoyd,

Jacob Stormes, Shannea Defoyd, Sarah Iddings,

Arla Defoyd, & Debbi Stormes

Give It To God

By: Stephanie Defoyd

May 10, 2011

Stressed, worried, frustrated, easily agitated over the silliest things, not very pleasant to be around, annoyed, hurting and not fully sure why, wondering how I was going to make it through the day – yeah, this was basically the story of my life for about two weeks or more. So many things were going on and happening all at once that I felt completely overwhelmed by it all. I wasn’t sure how to process everything or how I was supposed to handle it. Life just seemed really harsh all the sudden and I kept asking myself the same question over and over: “Why?”

“Just give it all to God,” I was told. “He will take care of everything. You should know that.” Oh, I knew it all right. I knew He could take this messy life of mine and turn it into something beautiful. I even recited a certain Bible verse trying to remind myself constantly of this fact – Romans 8:28. I prayed that God would help me, that He would see me through. I even asked Him to take the load that was weighting me down and turn it into something for His glory. There was one little problem though: I didn’t give it to Him. Not fully, anyway. Oh, I thought that I had, but I hadn’t, not truly. I was still holding on to it, trying to handle everything all by myself. My result: I was an even bigger mess than when this whole thing started.

Last night I broke down and started crying. I was so overwhelmed and I was noticing just how horrible I was acting toward others, mainly my own family. I started asking myself, “What is wrong with me? Why am I acting like this?” I blamed it on the fact that so many things were going on and I was just totally stressed. Well, yeah, that was part of it. Then it hit me: “You know, I wouldn’t be so stressed out if I had actually given it all to God and let Him take control of the situation in the very beginning instead of trying to do it myself. I wouldn’t be such a wreck right now!”

Tears streaming down my face, in my heart I cried, “God, take it! Please take control of this situation! I don’t want to take the lead anymore. Want to follow you. You know what is best for me, and you have a marvelous plan for my life. Help me to fully let it all go, and to trust in you wholeheartedly! …”

Not long afterward, I got ready for bed. My heart felt light, I was smiling for the first time in days, and, yes, I was actually humming to myself. (I decided not to sing out loud – even though I wanted to – in consideration of the rest of my family who had already gone to bed and for the fact that it was past “quiet time” at our complex). I hadn’t felt this good for so long! The burden had been lifted from my shoulders, and I felt truly free for the first time in quite a while.

At one point the same old questions tried to work their way into my mind again: “How will I be able to do this?” and “What if …?” I shook my head and said to myself, “So what? I’m in good hands. Why do I need to worry about that anymore? If this is His will, it’ll happen. If it’s not, then, I guess it won’t. He’s got a plan far greater than I know or can imagine, and God always keeps His promises. I have no reason to worry.”

You know, trials can either make you stronger or tear you apart. It just depends on how you decide to handle them. If you do as I did in the beginning and try to handle it all alone -- let me tell you friend, it’s a rough and scary road. But if you lay it before the throne and trust Him wholeheartedly, I can assure you you’ll not regret it. But don’t take my word for it. Give it to God. He can turn a complete mess into something beautiful…and save you from a whole ton of pointless stress and heartache. I know. I’ve been there.

Letting Go

"... for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee." - Hebrews 13:5b

"Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you." - 1 Peter 5:7

You know that saying, about life throwing curve balls at us when we least expect it?  Sometimes it feels less like life is throwing them one at a time, and more like 100 of 'em all at once, knowing there's absolutely no way we alone can take on all of them without getting hit or missing the majority.  Situations and circumstances can be overwhelming and can easily make us lose our ultimate focus, especially when they seem to happen all at once.

For the past two months my life has been pretty crazy.  Picking up extra overnight shifts here and there at work, trying to figure out how on earth I'm going to make it this fall with an overload of classes and a full time job, situations resulting the the loss of those whom I'd once considered family, personal family matters, etc.  I've felt like I've been running in a thousand directions at once with other activities as well, but to be honest, if one were to ask me exactly what I've been doing lately to keep me that busy, I couldn't even begin to say.  While there's been many awesome happenings as well, the overwhelm of so much going on seemed to take precedence.

Last night I couldn't seem to focus on much else except for the one particular issue that's more of a "doozy" to me.  Without exactly intending to, I kind of vented a bit to one of my best friends about it.  The conversation ended with him saying something simple, but it meant a lot. He'd told me that he would be praying.  Not sure why, but when he said that, it was like through him God was whispering to me, "Hey, I'm still here.  I've not left you and I'm not about to.  Just give it to Me.  It's already been overcome and we're gonna get through this together.  You're not alone."

Sometimes situations and circumstances can overwhelm even the seemingly strongest of people. Especially when life decides to throw everything at you at once. And sometimes it's good to just vent out those frustrations through talking to a friend, writing, or some other means, so that they are off our chest. But to pray to God and lay it all before the throne at His feet...that is when the real peace comes. A peace that goes beyond all understanding of man, a peace that whispers truth, that tells us it's God who is in control now, and He will take care of it. We needn't carry that burden anymore. That's when we can look back at it and see God's work clearly, and learn and grow from what we've overcome by His grace.

Written By: Stephanie DeFoyd

Preaching: What Does It Mean To Us?

By: Nathaniel Iddings

May 16th, 2013

What does preaching mean to us as Christians? While we should be interested that the Bible is preached to us soundly, we also need to mind just what our attitude is towards what we hear. By "our attitude" I am not so much talking about whether we believe the truth or not, but what do we do with it? We as Christians are all able to apply the Word in our lives, but just because we apply it does not mean we are necessarily applying it correctly. Looking at my life in retrospect, I notice that countless times I have heavily applied what I learn, but by my misapplications I demonstrated I was not truly taking the Bible seriously. A good portion of this essay I'll be sharing with you some of the ways in which I have mishandled biblical preaching, and I hope we may all be encouraged and challenged to keep a proper mindset.

I was once privileged to hear an excerpt from a sermon by Pastor Albert N. Martin on God's wrath. My fellow brother who I was also going to watch it was so kind as to give me the heads up that I should find a good pillow to hug while we listened to the message, but being the tough guy that I am, I endured the whole video without a tear! It was a very concise but intense sermon bit about hell. What was my attitude towards this kind of preaching? I went "Wow! That's a good sermon! That is some hard core preaching!" Sure, it was a dramatic presentation; it was indeed a sound presentation -- But where was a greater sense humility to be found in me? Where was the personal application? I applied it, but my application was essentially "That was a great message, I agree with it" and "I endured listening to a hellfire sermon! I'm tough! I bet not many Christians nowadays could handle that!" I should have had sensitivity to the truths being preached to me. It is not a sign of hard-heartedness if you are not emotional while listening to preaching, but if this stems from a lack of personal application of the message, there is a problem. What is the message of hell to us? When we hear about hell, are we puffed up because we can handle listening to it, or are we genuinely moved to compassion for the unsaved? Do we come away with a greater sense of how great God is, and how desperately we need Christ, or do we leave thinking "I'm so hardcore"? What does it all mean to us?  

Maybe we like listening to preaching because as we hear about sin, we can shine the spotlight on everybody else. Do we go to church and listen to the message preached with the attitude of "Yea, these doctrines/ teachers/churches/philosophers/atheists/false religions are so foolish! Preach it! Amen!" when we ought to shine the spotlight on ourselves? One of the biggest points in listening to the Bible preached to us is so that we would be personally convicted of our own personal sin, in order that we would be humbled and brought to repentance. I had a season of my life when I greatly appreciated hearing the Word preached, because I got this perverse sense of enjoyment in casting down others. Under ordinary circumstances, that's wrong, right? That's the great part about listening to preaching; is that when the preacher demonstrates from the Bible that somebody else's beliefs and attitudes are wrong, I can have an excuse to say "Look, you are wrong, I am right! Hah!" I have biblical authority to tell people they are wrong, and I have biblical authority to tell others about how other people are wrong, because they are wrong. The truth is that I really just enjoyed exalting myself and putting others down. When I was a kid, that's why I got in heated arguments; because I was insistent that I was the one who had things all figured out, and you had to live by my rules if we could have peace. That's the same thing this "religious" mindset of mine really was. I believe the Bible, and so (since the Bible is my set of rules this time) I can boss and criticize anyone who disagrees with me, because I have authority from God to criticize and boss you!

Yes, people need to be held accountable to what the Bible says. Yet, even when we have Biblical authority to say to somebody "You are wrong, and God says so" we can still abuse this authority. We do have authority from God to tell somebody if they are right or wrong, but do we exercise that authority lovingly and appropriately according to need and opportunity; or, are we abusing that authority just because we like having a sense of power and control?

Mabye I'm listening, but instead of listening to grow in Christlikeness, I listen so that I can give my critique of the sermon afterwards. I remember the first time I went to Bible camp, this was the mindset I had. I was a new believer, but I was extremely prideful. I was listening to the messages as they were preached, but I was listening not with an attitude of eagerness for the Word, but instead I was listening so that I could see if the sermons measured up to my standards. I was not seeking humility. I was not rejoicing in the very fact that God was so merciful as to reveal the truth to me in His word; I was simply wanting to hear a message that meets my approval. If a message does not meet my approval, then the sermon was weak/unbiblical and if it met my approval, then good for you; keep up the good work. It is one thing to be zealous to hear a system of your favorite doctrines proclaimed; but it is another thing to be listening with eagerness to know God. Yes, we should always check things to make sure they line up with the Bible; but we should not come to church with a skeptical attitude. When we are only listening to make sure things are according to our personal liking (even if our personal liking is doctrinally sound), we really will miss out on a lot of encouragement we would otherwise recieve because we will be too busy focusing on what we didn't like/agree with. Let's listen with thankfulness for the Word instead! Should we still check the Bible to verify what is preached? Of course! Let's take everything sound we hear and grow in grace with it!

I'm sure every one of us have some pet-peeve that we hate with profound intensity. There are various lies of the world -- from church heresies to unbiblical philosophy -- that we each used to believe before God saved us. As for me, my personal pet-peeve would be secular humanism. Before I was converted, I was thoroughly brainwashed with those "trust your heart" and "follow your dreams" messages.  Finally and providentially, God was good to me and crushed my dreams. Several years down the road in my unbelief, I was in church and had decided to actually listen to the sermon to see if there was anything in it that could fix my problems in life. I don't remember the first sermon I truly listened to; all I remember was this: I heard humanism being relentlessly assaulted from the pulpit, and I loved that. Sweet revenge! This was my unbeliever response to preaching. Does this characterize the way we as Christians listen to preaching? Are we listening to hear the gospel, or do we find our joy in hearing the lies we used to believe be attacked? Granted, I think it is okay to personally get fired up inside about old lies that we were once blinded by. We are made in the image of God, and as such we are to be treated with respect; it is no sin for us to be offended when we are wronged. Yet, in being offended by the old lies that used to define us, we need to keep biblical glasses on -- That is, we need to 1) make sure our anger over the deception does not take our focus off of God, and 2) we excerise meekness, controlling our anger appropriately. So what then are we really interested in? Are we paying close attention because we want to hear our pastor bash some false idea we used to believe, or do we want to grow in Christlikeness?

Last but not least: Are we thankful for sound preaching? In times past, I have visited some churches that did not always line up 100% with what the Bible teaches, and where the sermons did not have as much depth nor length as what I am used to. I considered myself to have only gotten but an appetizer of spiritual food to live on for the week. The problem with my thinking is that it was actually unthankfulness in disguise. Under the cloak of religious zeal, I can find myself going "The sermon was so watered down. It had so little depth, and this statement was unbiblical. What a waste of my Sunday morning." It sounds really good at first, especially since there sometimes is some truth to this complaint. There is such a thing as a watered down message -- but even sermons that were comparatively shallow and may even have some unbiblical theology in parts, can still be profitable. The key here is this; don't focus on what was bad, but focus on what is good. In other words; even if a sermon is shallow, you can still appreciate what biblical doctrine the preacher did preach. Consider: Which one of us deserves to have God and His will revealed to us? The answer should be clear; none of us do. Yet, God is merciful and gracious in that He does reveal Himself to us in the Bible. When we come home from some church and complain all about how much was wrong with the sermon without taking into account what was right in it, what is that but unthankfulness? What is that but to take Scripture for granted? We can be thankful even for preaching when it is not perfect. We should test everything with Scripture to make sure it is true; yes. Yet, we ought always to look first for whatever is good and sound as diligently as possible, and be thankful to God for what He does provide.  

By now we probably have enough of an idea of some of our wrong attitudes we can hold about preaching, but what good does it do us to stop there? We don't learn biblical truth by process of lie-elimination! What is the right attitude? As is fairly apparent by this point, I believe one of our first attitudes should be that of thankfulness and humility. We ought to listen with eagerness and appreciation, because what we are listening to is far greater than a lecture in theology; it is what God uses to save and sanctify His beloved children! Where there is no gospel preached, there is no salvation. In a very real sense, hearing the gospel preached to us is a matter of life and death. Far more than just some sermon, it is the means God has appointed to bring eternal life to those who believe, and damnation to those who do not believe. What else is the gospel for? The gospel was also given to us so that we may do good works (Ephesians 2:8-10). For those of us who have been saved, God has freed us from the domination of sin. We are not doomed to have all the wrong attitudes anymore; we now are free to turn from those ways and serve Christ! We can take action and work towards cultivating a proper mindset of love, gratitude, and compassion for others. Let's take advantage of the freedom God has purchased for those of us who believe; next time we listen to the gospel preached, let's listen with an expectation of personal edification. Let's listen with the willingness to put aside our pet-peeves, frustrations with others and the world, and complaints about the message or preacher, and put on a willingness to focus our attention first and foremost on the good. When we learn how to bring out the greatest virtues in others and let go of our various "sanctified" complaints, we may very well discover Christian joy and contentment in ways like never before!

A Pilgrim

By: Stephanie Defoyd
June 21st, 2011


I am a pilgrim here, on a journey to the Promised Land. My route is full of unexpected twists and turns, deep canyons, and steep, craggy mountains that I have to carefully – even cautiously – navigate my way through. My Lord is by my side, and His Holy Word is both my compass and map. Nothing do I carry with me but my cross which I have chosen to take up. The path I take isn’t one that most might choose. It’s narrow and not as well traveled as the other. The second path is wide, open, and becoming to the eye, but it ends in a place where there is nothing but eternal sorrow, pain, and death. It’s not visible by just looking at it, but Suffering marks every step of the way, and Loneliness lurks in every shadow. My path, though much narrower and maybe not quite as beauteous at first glance, leads the way to a place where nothing but joy and happiness abound, where praises to my King reverberate throughout the heavens, and Life is eternal and full of bliss. Night never envelopes this Promised Land with its dark cape, nor does the dawn ever cease. All declare the majesty of Christ, crying, “Holy, holy, holy is our Lord, God Almighty!” Yes, the journey at times is hard, and many times I have lost my footing, but my God, who is with me at every moment, catches me in His loving arms. My steps He steadies, and when I feel as though I cannot go any further, feeling so weighted down, He makes my burden light. He has given my heart a new song, my life a new meaning, and my soul the promise of eternal rest in Him. Death shall never claim victory over me, nor shall I ever be taken from my Father’s hand. I am His child, His beloved, His daughter, His own. There is nothing in this foreign land in which I travel that can change that fact. Many times I have hesitated, even balked, at the sight of the path suddenly ending before me at the edge of a huge, seemingly bottomless gorge, and that proceeds on at its opposite side. But, after much coaxing and many reminders of His promise never to leave me, I finally take His nail scarred hand together we take that step of faith that brings a bridge beneath my feet. The impossibilities that I face are suddenly made possible with my God. Nothing need I fear when I allow my Lord to be my guide. I am safe and secure in His arms, even when it feels as though the world around me is falling apart. This is the path that I have chosen and have given my life to follow. Which do you choose?

"Onward, Christian Soldiers"

By: Stephanie Defoyd
January 3rd, 2011


1. Onward, Christian soldiers, Marching as to war, With the cross of Jesus Going on before!
Christ, the royal Master, Leads against the foe; Forward into battle, See His banner go!

2. At the sound of triumph Satan's host doth flee; On, then, Christian soldiers, On to victory!
Hell's foundations quiver At the shout of praise; Brothers, lift your voices, Loud your anthems
raise!

3. Like a mighty army Moves the church of God; Brothers, we are treading Where the saints
have trod; We are not divided; All one body we, One in hope and doctrine, One in charity.

4. Onward, then, ye people, Join our happy throng, Blend with ours your voices In the triumph
song; Glory, laud, and honor, Unto Christ the King; This thro' countless ages Men and
angels sing.

CHORUS: Onward, Christian soldiers, Marching as to war, With the cross of Jesus Going on before!


While paging through one of our hymn books, I happened upon the above song, Onward, Christian Soldiers. This song has always been one of my many favorites, and almost absentmindedly, I started humming it quietly to myself. As I did so, my thoughts immediately turned to a friend of mine who had left for the Army earlier this evening. I couldn't help thinking of the similarities between my friend and what this song describes.

As Christians, we are soldiers in God's army and are fighting a spiritual battle against the devil. Unlike earthly wars where we usually don't know what the outcome will be, we know with certainty Who shall triumph in this fight -- God and His own. Jesus tells us in John chapter sixteen, the second half of verse thirty-three, "In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world" (emphasis mine).

I John 5:4-5 says that, as Christians, we, too, have overcome the world: "For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith. Who is he that overcometh the world, but he that believeth that Jesus is the Son of God?" (emphasis mine). By God's mighty and awesome power we shall find victory over Satan -- we claim it the moment we accept Jesus as Lord and Savior of our lives.

We need to share the love of God with all whom we come in contact with, no matter where we are -- in the workplace, at school, in our own community, another state, at a friend's house, etc. Everyone needs to hear about Jesus' unending and boundless love so that they might also overcome the world.

The Apostle Paul writes in II Timothy 4:7, "I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith." I don't know about you, but I want to be able to say that when my time comes. I also want to hear my Lord say to me, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant."

Something Beautiful...

By: Stephanie Defoyd
January 9, 2012


I have learned a lot of things from working at the local Head Start. I must say, I believe I have some of the BEST teachers in the world: the 3-5 year olds I work with each day. Today’s lesson is one I certainly won’t ever forget.

While discussing the children’s artwork, someone told me that they think saying things like, “Oh, I really like that!” about a piece of art work each child finishes when asked our opinion on it isn’t the best route, as it is impossible for one to truly “like” each drawing or painting that’s probably nothing more than a mere scribble or blob. They said that after a while, if we keep telling them everything they do is nice or beautiful, they will become discouraged and start thinking, “They are just saying that. They say it about everything I do.” I was told we should ask them THEIR opinion of their work. How do THEY feel about it? I can understand the part about asking the children what they thought about their work, but I don’t totally understand where this person is coming from about not telling them their work is beautiful. The kids did teach me something about this particular subject though.

Today we did finger painting. After covering the table with paper, a little bit of paint was poured onto the table for the kids to smear around. Once they were done making designs and such with the paint, I took a sheet of paper and laid it over their art, making a print of it.

Looking at each child’s print as I laid them out to dry, I thought back to the conversation I had had earlier. Suddenly one little girl pointed to her print and said, “Look! That’s a picture of my family!”

To an adult, the girl’s art might not look like anything more than a sheet of paper covered in smears of red, yellow and blue paint mixed together with a few finger designs and a handprint. I couldn’t see realistic-looking representations of people in her picture, but she did help me realize something. Through a child’s eyes, everything is unique and beautiful in its own special way. To an adult, this print might look like a mess, but through the eyes of a child, it is a family full of love, laughter, growth, and imagination. What isn’t creative about that?

As I listened to the kids as they told me what each of their paintings was of, I couldn’t help but notice the beauty they saw. Each work of art was as unique and special as the toddler who created it. Their imaginations were vivid and they could see potential in something that might just look like a mess to an adult.

Through this I was reminded of how God views us and our lives. Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that all things work together for good to them who love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose.” We might look at our lives and just see nothing but screw-up after screw-up, resulting in a huge, not-so-attractive mess. We might think we are worthless. Thankfully, God doesn’t see us or our lives that way. He views us as precious and rare jewels, something to be treasured. As for our lives, He doesn’t see an ugly mess. Like children who can see beauty in something that we might think is ugly, or just scribbles on paper, God sees our lives as something wonderful. He takes our “mess” and turns it into a magnificent masterpiece.

It makes me wonder, what’s the harm in taking a moment to look through the eyes of a child and see the beauty and wonder in everything? My kiddos have taught me (and still are teaching me) how to look deeply at things and seek out the beauty within them, and when I tell them I think their work is very creative or beautiful, I mean it. I don’t just say it to be nice. I say it because that is what it is; something beautiful that just might lead to something even more gorgeous later on.

What Kids Desperately Need

Shopping. Limited time offers. Bogo sales. New “must have” products of all kinds. Happiness right at one’s finger tips if only they will just purchase this one special item. Spend as much money as possible buying your loved one a gift so that they will love you more. That’s how it works, you know. Our warped society expects us to “shop ‘til we drop,” especially when it comes to finding gifts for our children. So many people feel that it’s more important to make their children happy with material items than anything else. Sadly, even a lot of kids have this mentality driven into them; the more under the tree for them, the better. I’ve seen several parents this Christmas season stressing out because Christmas is quick in approaching, and they are so financially strapped that they can’t afford to get their children everything their hearts desire in the way of material possessions. A few have even voiced that they feel like failures because of their inability to meet their kids’ expectations. They are a terrible parent.

Despite what today’s society screams out at us, our kids don’t actually NEED all of these popular mind-blowing “must-haves.” They might WANT them (and really, who wouldn’t? I’ve gotta admit, some of the things they’ve come out with now are pretty sweet), but material items are not what will satisfy the deep yearning that far too many kids hold deep inside and that’s been drowned out by society’s cry for more “stuff” in their lives. Our kids need something far more valuable and lasting that what money can buy, and that’s parents…REAL parents.

What do I mean by our kids needing “real” parents? Well, it’s quite simple. In this day and age, so many kids are being raised by only one parent, and it’s usually the mother (not always, as I know there are a few exceptions to this rule). The most common scenarios are that the mother either became pregnant out of wedlock and was left by the father of the child, or the mother and father were married at one point, but it ended in divorce for one reason or another, thus leaving the child with only one parent as the main figure in their life. Children need to have two parents of the opposite sex (male father, female mother) active in their lives. They need parents who will love, care for, discipline, and be supportive of them.

Over the past several years I have worked with kids of varying ages and in different settings; some in the Head Start Program, others in church youth groups, 4-H clubs, and most recently, a children’s home. I think working at a Head Start Program for two years, and now a few months at the children’s home is what has really opened my eyes to this need for real parents. Divorce, premarital and teen sex, and out-of-wedlock births have become so much more the norm in today’s society that it’s almost uncommon to find whole families where both mother and father are married to one another, have a healthy and solid relationship with each other and their kids, and are actively involved their kids’ lives. Below is a chart to give you the full idea of just how much our society has fallen over the past 60 years.


NATIONAL STATISTICS FOR THE UNITED STATES (1950-2010)

Out of Wedlock Births:
1960: 4% - 2010: 41%
Single Adults:
1950: 33% - 2010: 50%
Couples Living Together Before Marriage:
1960: 4% - 2010: 60%
Marriage After Couples Have Lived Together First:
1960: 4% - 2010: 60%
Divorce Rates:
1960: 2.2 per 1,000 couples – 2010: 3.4 per 1,000 couples
Children Living with Both Parents:
1960: 87.7% - 2010: 69.4%
Children Living with Only Their Mothers (who were never married):
1960: 4.3% - 2010: 43.6%


When seeing these statistics for the first time, I was both surprised, yet not entirely so. It’s scary seeing just how much the divorce and immorality rates have skyrocketed within our nation in just 60 years. I think what saddens me the most though is the fact that I actually KNOW kids who are indeed affected by all of this in both my former and current line of work. It’s all just numbers and graphs until one actually works with these kids on a daily basis.

I can confidently say that in my near 6 months of working at the local children’s home, I have not seen one father figure in any of the lives of the 12-17 year old boys I work with. My coworkers (who have worked 16 or more years at this particular place or in similar areas of work) have stated that they too have yet to see any fathers.

While our kids need to have both parents present in their daily lives, they tend to struggle even more when the father isn’t involved. Girls who are missing the father figure tend to look for a mate who possess more fathering qualities and who offer them the same sort of relationship that they missed throughout their childhood and youth. More often than not, this type of relationship doesn’t end well. Boys tend to struggle even more so. There has been a dramatic rise in crime, illegal drug and alcohol abuse, rapes, adolescent murders, and domestic and sexual abuse (towards not only females, but males as well, and the offenses are committed by both sexes), as well as a major decline in males being eligible for the military (only 1 in 4 qualify), and modesty among women, just to name a few. Why is this? Well, it all stems from boys not having a dad to teach them how to be real and godly men, nor girls having a dad to show them what they really should and need to look for in a future husband, let alone how they should conduct themselves as godly women (this isn’t to say that the mother isn’t capable of this, but that a father’s input is also quite vital in her upbringing). They need type of love, support, and guidance that only a father can give.

In 2011, Sherwood Pictures released their fourth movie, titled ‘Courageous’ (previous movies being ‘Fireproof’, ‘Facing the Giants’ and ‘Flywheel’). For those of you who have not already seen it, I would strongly encourage you to do so – men, women, and children alike. It’s a family film full of action, a little bit of suspense, drama, and clean humor, yet it still delivers a very touching and powerful message to not only men who are or may become fathers one day, but to women as well. It points out the need for our men to step up to the plate and become the godly fathers, husbands, and heads of the house that God calls them to be. It sends a message to us women as well, demonstrating how God calls us to conduct ourselves in public and in the home, and how to be the godly, supportive and loving roles that our husbands, children, and other family members vitally need in their lives. As for those of you who have already seen this amazing movie…SEE IT AGAIN! It definitely can’t hurt.

Our children need fathers. And they need mothers. God has created them with the deep need to have both in their lives, to teach and guide them in the way they should go. If more parents took a stand and strove to be the kind of parents God calls them to be with His help, then there wouldn’t be half the broken homes, abuse, divorce rates, or the escalation in crime and murders as there has been in recent years. Our sons would have fathers and mothers who could teach them how to be real men, and our daughters would have the same to teach them how to be faithful and loving women.

So, for this Christmas at least, why not change our focus? Indeed, Christmas isn’t about how many presents end up under the tree with little Susie’s name on them, or how expensive the gift is, but rather it is about the one and most perfect gift of all: Jesus Christ our Lord. God showed His love for all of us by sending His only begotten Son to earth. Christ came as a meek and humble babe, born to a virgin in a stable. He was in the form of man, yet still fully God. A gift so wonderfully simple and precious, yet so indescribably complex that our human minds can hardly imagine it. God gave His one and only Son to later become the pure and perfect sacrifice for every sin we’ve ever committed or ever will commit, and to offer us the blessed gift of salvation by His grace and through faith in Him alone. God – our Father – has blessed us with such a wonderful gift of love.

Instead of spending all our time and energy on finding the “perfect” material gift for our kids, why don’t we focus on giving them something that they REALLY need in their lives: their parents? Let’s take some time to actually DO something fun WITH our children. Maybe have a family movie night together, or bake and decorate cookies. Pick out a book that everyone enjoys, and spend an evening or two reading and discussing it together. Find favorite games to play, or make up your own. Let’s give our kids something that they can cherish for a lifetime. Parents, give your children YOU, and give them your love.


(*To find out more about the movie, 'Courageous', check out their website: http://www.courageousthemovie.com/)

Written By: Stephanie DeFoyd

I Can't Be Silent

"And when he was come nigh, even now at the descent of the mount of Olives, the whole multitude of the disciples began to rejoice and praise God with a loud voice for all the mighty works that they had seen; Saying, Blessed be the King that cometh in the name of the Lord: peace in heaven, and glory in the highest. And some of the Pharisees from among the multitude said unto him, Master, rebuke thy disciples. And he answered and said unto them, I tell you that, if these should hold their peace, the stones would immediately cry out." - Luke 19:37-40

When something is really exciting for you, how do you react? I know it takes every ounce of self control that I possess to contain my joy. Friends tell me that I'm horrible at hiding how I'm feeling as it is, and how I'm like an open book, but evidently in that sort of situation, it's definitely obvious.

A few days back, I was having a conversation with a friend of mine who had been having a rough time lately. Everything seemed to be falling apart around them, and they just felt hopeless. I tried to encourage them, to give them hope, but there was just one tiny little drawback...I had been previously told not talk to them about God because they weren't willing to listen right then. One of the first thoughts that flashed through my mind was, "Okay, so how am I supposed to remind them that there's hope even in what seems to be the darkest of times, when they are not exactly in the most receptive of moods?" I did everything I could imagine possible to get my point across without flat out saying it; that God is in control no matter what, and how He will always be by our side if we will just ask.

I hadn't ever thought about this before then, but ever since Christ saved me, bringing Him into my conversations with people to some extent or another has pretty much been second nature to me. I'm excited about His love and mercy for someone so unworthy as I, and I want to share that with everyone else I meet! So when trying to talk to my friend that day without coming outright and speaking about God, I found myself struggling. The above verses, Luke 19:37-40, echoed in my mind as I attempted to talk to them. I could TOTALLY relate to the multitudes not being able to be silent! I could barely contain myself.

I think my friend could sense my struggle, because eventually they told me that if I wanted to bring God into the conversation, I could. They were willing to listen. I must say, that was definitely a relief!

I have thought about those verses a lot lately, particularly where Jesus says, "I tell you that, if these should hold their peace, the stones would immediately cry out." Just as it's hard for me to hide my emotions about other things, it's definitely hard for me to stay quiet about my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I pray that we all, as followers of God, will forever be excited about His love for us, and always be eager to share the Gospel with those around us.

Unashamed

October 28th, 2010

Earlier this afternoon, my sister, Alyssa, and I volunteered at the local Head Start Program during the Midday class. When lunch came, all of us -- staff, volunteers, and the kids -- sat down among the three tables they have set up. After everyone was served, the teacher at my table told the kids they could go ahead and eat.

As the three to five year olds at my table eagerly started to eat, I bowed my head and silently prayed. When I looked up after I had finished, I saw one of the three year olds to my right, Tandon, watching me. I smiled at him, and before I could reach for my cup to get a drink, he suddenly exclaimed, "Wait, we have to pray first!" Folding his hands and bowing his head, smile on his face, he prayed, "God is great, God is good, and we thank Thee for our food. Aaaaaaaaaa-men!" He raised his head to look at me. "Now we can eat."

I couldn't help but exchange a smile with the teacher, then I thanked God for the little boy He'd placed in my life and for his incredible witness. The words from Romans 1:16 immediately came to my mind: "For I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to everyone that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek."

"I want to be that way, Lord!" I prayed. "I want to be like this little boy, totally unashamed of You! I want the whole world to know who You are and that I am in love with You, and You with me!"

None of us should be ashamed of what our Lord has done for us. His great and wonderful love, or our love for Him. I pray today that everyone will realize that there is NOTHING about God, His word, love, our love for Him -- anything! -- that we should be ashamed of!



Written By: Stephanie DeFoyd