What Does God Say?: Sexual Morality

For the past few weeks the book we had been going over in Bible study was 'The Discipline of Spiritual Discernment' by Tim Challies.  In one of the final chapters, there was an optional assignment for us to put what we had learned about discernment into practice.  We were to come up with a statement that we've heard people give (such as, "God says not to judge, so don't be judging me," etc.) and find out whether or not it is truth (truth fully backed up by Scripture).  Below is a copy of a friend's submission for the assignment.

Written By: Sarah Iddings - March, 2015


Statement: "It is not morally wrong for me to live with my significant other before marriage."

What is at stake: Sexual morality, obedience to God.

What people say:
You need to live with someone before marriage because...
 
1.) There are all kinds of things you will never learn about a guy until you live with them. And vice versa.
2.) You should want to be with your guy because YOU LOVE HIM, period. Whether you get married or not is secondary.
3.) If you're too set in your ways to live with someone, you're too set in your ways to get married. There are compromises all over the place, even with someone you're really compatible with.
4.) Learning to coexist with someone, especially after you've been single and on your own for a long time, is difficult. Very difficult. Getting engaged also brings with it so many stresses and difficulties, that it seems like the worst possible time to move in together. It's so much better to learn how to coexist first, before you start tackling all of the issues that come with an impending marriage.
 

What the Bible Says:

• Genesis 2:23-25 - "The man said, "This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man." For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife [NOT bf/gf or lover]; and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed."

• 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 - "Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body."

• Hebrews 13:4 - "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous."

• 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5- "For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God"

• 1 Corinthians 7:2 - "But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband."

• Romans 13:14 - “Let us walk honestly, as in the day; not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and wantonness, not in strife and envying. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.”

• Matthew 5:14-16 - “You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it gives light to all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.”

• 1 Corinthians 10:31 says “Whether therefore you eat, or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”

 
What other Christians say:
"'Does the Bible say it is wrong for unmarried, unrelated men and women to live together?' is not the right question. The right question to ask is, 'What is God’s will concerning an adult male and an adult female living together?'
 
According to Genesis 2:24, His revealed will is that only husbands and wives (or family members) should live together.
 
Why does God say this?
 
The answer is because living together is an intimate and bonding experience. Living together in the same home where men and women share the same kitchen, bathroom, etc., where they see each other early in the morning and late at night develops intimacy and bonding.

God allows that kind of intimacy only among family members. Why? Because between members of the opposite sex, it can lead to sexual intimacy.

It is very easy to start out as “just friends,” but when sharing an intimate home relationship week after week, talking and relating, seeing each other first thing in the morning and late at night, there is no barrier to that kind of intimacy leading to sexual intimacy.

God’s normal barrier to controlling sexual intimacy between members of the opposite sex is physical separateness, men and women living apart from each other.

When men and women live together intimacy naturally develops. Men can become sexually attracted to women even if they are “just friends.” They are visually stimulated and can be sexually tempted apart from any kind of relationship they have with a woman. Woman often do not realize this, but it is true. Women can become sexually attracted to men who are around them and listen to them especially when they feel vulnerable.

...

Romans 13:14 says, “Let us walk honestly, as in the day; not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and wantonness, not in strife and envying. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.”

This verse means we are not to “make provision for the flesh,” that is put ourselves into a situation where we know that we will fall into sin. Living together provides a powerful opportunity for sexual lust.

Even though they may innocently say that circumstances are “forcing” them to live together, they will soon be sleeping together in the same bed. Then sex will follow. Men and women cannot live together when they are romantically involved and not eventually succumb to sexual temptation. It is too powerful. Since living together for a couple makes provision for the flesh, it is condemned by God and is sin." - Ron Jones, Titus Institute; http://titusinstitute.com/datingbible/livingtogether.php
 

Summary:
We cannot live with the opposite gender outside of a marriage/family relationship and do it "to the glory of God". He has stated in scripture that His desired will is for a man and woman to marry and then live together. We are to be "lights to the world" and to stand out from others with how we conduct our lives; if we are knowingly placing ourselves in a position that can easily lead to sinful compromise, we are not living in a way that will reflect God to those around us.

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This is the book we just completed in Bible study, for anyone who may be interested.

God Is In Control

The hot topic lately on Facebook and elsewhere has been our Presidential election and its results, as well as the pathetic state of our nation. It's something that's been on my mind as well for quite some time now. No, I'm not at all happy with the fact that Obama got yet another 4 years to govern our nation (but please don't tell me that that automatically makes me agree 100% with Romney, because it doesn't). What saddens me the most is seeing my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ moaning and complaining about Obama being back in office. Hey...have we already forgotten? God is still in control, despite our choices and circumstances! He knows what He's doing when He allows things to happen. God is so much greater than all of this! We're talking about the God of Israel, who parted the Red Sea, who multiplied loaves and fishes for the multitude! This is the God who heals the sick, brings the dead to life, makes the lame to walk and the dumb talk, and opens blind eyes so that they might see! This is the God who spared the life of my little brother, and also my best friend, when both should have been dead when you consider the circumstances! We serve a God who has proved His unconditional love to us over and over, and through the death and resurrection of His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ! He created the heavens, the earth and everything therein, and He created us in His own image, all within 6 days! Don't tell me that our Lord and King, who has done all of this and then so much more, isn't in control of this whole election choice and our nation as well! C'mon, ya'll. Keep your chin up, throw your shoulders back, look to Christ, and just keep trusting Him and remembering His might! He is fully aware of what's going on, and He has all power over it. Nothing can ever stop Him, nor is anything ever too big for Him. He is the Great I AM.

We also need to remember to respect ALL OF THOSE in authority above us, even if we may disagree with them on many levels. Christ tells us in Luke 20:25, "And he said unto them, Render therefore unto Caesar the things which be Caesar's, and unto God the things which be God's." We need to be obedient to those over us, as well as to God, and we need to watch how we speak of those we disagree with. What's in our hearts speaks volumes about who it is we are followers of.

On top of all of that, we need to remember to pray for them as well. 1 Timothy 2:1-3, "I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; For kings, and for all that are in authority; that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty. For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Saviour." None of us are exempt from the need of God's guidance.

People, don't be discouraged by the outcome of this Presidential election, or by anything else concerning our nation. Despite what is going on within us, GOD IS STILL IN CONTROL AND FOREVER SHALL BE!! Just keep looking to Him, trusting in His word, and knowing that there's nothing that our Father cannot do. Luke 1:37 says, "For with God nothing shall be impossible." He has a plan, and the future isn't uncertain to Him as it is to us. Keep trusting in Christ, and continue to be shining witnesses for Him no matter what! <3

(*Check out this song on YouTube: "GOD IS IN CONTROL" by Avalon - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKJJqpTq2RE *)


Written By: Stephanie DeFoyd

Salt of the Earth

Ever since my family and I moved here from Texas, we’ve not found a church home. During our first year in Idaho, we visited several different churches, but none of the ones we visited felt quite right. I know my hunger and thirst for more of God’s Word wasn’t being satisfied at any of the churches we attended. It’s really a horrible thought, understanding what the church should be like. Instead of overflowing with the Water of Life they felt spiritually dry to me. I wasn’t getting what I was longing for.

So, for the past 5 years we’ve been in Idaho, my family and I haven’t exactly been attending any one church. On occasion we’ve visited one or two since we first moved here, but my dad really got burned out trying to find a place and we quit trying. Not that I can blame him, as I felt the same way. After coming from a wonderful church in Texas where God’s presence was evident, it was hard when we couldn’t find the same thing here.

That’s one thing that really surprised me when my family and I moved here and searched for a place of worship. I came from a church home where the main focus was Christ Jesus above all else. My pastor’s sermons came straight from the Bible and his heart. They were never some other pastor’s sermons taken from the internet, or presented on a huge screen with fancy power point slideshows, etc. They were down to earth, honest, pure messages from God. One could feel His presence and power in the place, and there was never a reason one would leave that place feeling spiritually empty, except by that person’s own choice. But all of the churches we visited (and mind you, we didn't visit EVERY church here) seemed to be lacking greatly in that area, which bothered me very much.

Another thing that really bothered me was the fact that the congregation of these churches were trying very hard to entice my family and I to come back by telling us they were very involved in activities for the youth. Now, there’s nothing wrong with having youth activities, but they shouldn't be used as a way to entice someone to come to your place of worship. The person should want to come back voluntarily because of the message being shared there, NOT because there are activities or trips for the kids’ joy and entertainment. That right there is a sign that the church’s priorities are mixed up and they have made Christ take the back seat in their want for more people to attend the services.

Christ is the head of the church, and the church is the body of Christ (Colossians 1:18). As such, the church’s focus should be on being the messengers of Christ. What should NOT be the church’s goal is how many people they can persuade to attend the services. If our focus is on Christ Jesus, HE will bring the people to the place of worship WITHOUT us enticing them. When the church’s goal is to entice more and more people to come through the promise of activities, then that’s why the people will come: for the activities and the social aspect. They won’t be attending because they hunger and thirst for God’s Word, and the church will have become nothing more than a social party with a Bible-reading ritual.

In the book of Matthew, Jesus tells us, “Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men,” (Matthew 5:13). When we turn our focus from God to how many people we can get to come to our place of worship, we are like the salt that has lost its flavor. If we don’t use tasteless salt to season things, how can we expect to be used for God’s glory if our focus is no longer set upon Him?

In the next two verses, Jesus puts before us yet another comparison: “Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house,” (Matthew 5:14-15). He finishes by commanding us in verse 16, “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.” When we keep our focus on Christ and let His light in us shine for all to see, His work will be done through us and glory will be given to whom it is rightly due: Jesus Christ our Lord.

THAT is why people should want to attend our place of worship. Not because there are exciting youth activities and the like, but because they can see God reflected in His church. People need to come because of the Word being shared and the love of Christ which abounds therein. My prayer is that we ALL may be made even more aware of this and start acting as the hands and feet of Christ, so that He might be glorified and others may come to Him.


Written by: Stephanie DeFoyd